Deborah! Nice passionate paragraph. I like how you have positioned yourself as an expert as well as someone keenly sensitive to the subject about which you are writing. One question I have is, What are “client organizations”? Is there a way you might be more specific? If you have worked with nationally or internationally known orgs, go ahead and name-drop. One edit suggestion, “… skills as a behavioral science expert…” Well done!
Once again I have overdone it, five paragraphs instead of one. How am I to condense my five into one? A little less ego and some intense editing I suppose. I’ll keep working on it!
Hi Gerry. I wasn’t sure how long this was supposed to be. You have all the background credibility to write this. I think you did great! Deborah (now in Scotland with internet 🙂
But I really do need to edit, maybe two or three short paragraphs rather than five.
Your’s and Monique’s bios are short but powerful and set a standard.
Hope to see you on May 11, hear about your trip. I love our group, I’m learning so much from all.
Well, I’ve got my bio down to three paragraphs. Maybe a bit better than the five. I’m still working on it, trying for two paragraphs. Bear with me while I destroy my ego!
Yes, Gerry, it’s good to start with everything you’ve got, then pare it down from there. Since the goal is to keep it to one short paragraph that you will include in your query letter, and ultimately on the back cover or dust jacket of the book, think about the elements that are most directly related to the story: 1) your expertise 2) your passion 3) maybe the inspiration for this particular story.
Some suggestions on what to keep: paragraph 2, sentence 1 (end it at 1967 to edit for length); para 3: try to simplify that sentence to highlight your work as a tactical officer and hostage negotiator; some of paragraph 1, in which you mention your time on the force and work as a technical writer.
Overall goal: see if you can stick to 3 sentences, one short paragraph.
Great information here, all of which makes for a strong writer’s bio!
I’ve got the standard now, three sentences in once paragraph. OUCH! It’s like deciding which of your prized possessions you can keep or which you must throw away! Not really, but almost! I’ll get’er done!
Yes! No easy task, but this exercise is one that you can apply to all “distilling” assignments… that is, the practice of really identifying the primary points to include in your shortened statements, whether they are log lines, pitch paragraphs, and the like.
What I like to do is keep a “biography document” that includes multiple word-count versions, short, medium, and long. That way you can always have your “full” bio handy and ready to go, but have your 50-word version, 100-word version, etc., handy.
I can’t spell either!
Thanks again Monique,
I’ve done exactly what you’ve suggested. A long version, a middle version, and, as soon as I can get it together, a short version. That way I don’t have to sacrifice my treasured possessions (my ego). All I have to do is say , “See, here’s the true me,” and show the long version.
It’s almost midnight and I think I’m getting a little weird! See you guys Saturday and I’ve got some good news.
I think I have it in my latest update of my Author’s Bio, the ‘short’ version. A little long at 70 words, but I must give credit to Mary for the first line, “Long time writer at work and at pleasure, a ‘Street Cop’ brings it all together in his new novel, Serrano Street Diversion.” A little poetic and a little corny, but I think it works.
I would appreciate any feedback now, or when we meet this Saturday. And thanks to Deborah and Monique for your feedback. On to the next task.
Gerry, the latest bio is nice and tight and very professional! Well done.
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